Friday, May 14, 2010


I am having a hard time with this one - 19 - yes, 10+9 - almost 2 decades ago, I gave birth to one cute little peanut.  You know the joy of the first child - everything is new and exciting; you have no idea how much incredibly awful pain you will be in during labor;  you have no idea what words like 'crowning', 'dilated', and 'after birth' really mean or what they involve; you have no clue that you will never get another full night's sleep again for something like 10 years. . . ahhh, the joys of motherhood.  Would not trade it for anything!

The minute I held this little guy in my arms, I was totally and completely in love.  Nothing in life can prepare you for this moment.  No one can fully explain how much joy a child can give you and at the same time how much they can break your heart when they have grown up and no longer need you.  

This is where I'm at right now.  Torn between wanting to plan his life, because really people, I KNOW BETTER, and wanting to let him make his own choices, even if some of them are bad not such good ones.  This is where faith comes in.  Faith that all the prayers said on his behalf have made it to the Master's throne and faith that the Master will see this boy through.

He has a heart of gold, a will of iron, and a smile to melt my heart.

Happy 19th Birthday to my firstborn son - Tyler Jordan Hoffman.  Dan and I are so proud of him, and I know that somewhere on eternity's side Kevin is thinking of him too (and probably hoping he will shave off that Amish beard).  Forgive me - I have to lighten this up or I will fall into a major depression.


  1. Say it ain't so!!! I'm gonna cry.

    I love seeing your old pics.

    Happy birthday!, Tyler, on Sunday???

  2. Fond, fond memories of the little peanut and so very proud of him now. What a wonderful gift you have been to him! What a wonderful man he is turning out to be.
    Apple pie for everyone! (Just as soon as we can make it work) Hugs to the birthday boy XOXOXO
    : )

  3. WOW! Happy Birtday to Tyler and hankies to you, Rhonda. It is so bittersweet on so many levels. Enjoy reading how you deal with such things because I will need much advice as they get older. I don't know how I will be able to keep myself together or keep my mouth shut because I KNOW BETTER too. Adam reminds me to let them live and learn but I want to try to step in all the time. It is hard to find balance. Enjoy reading your perspective. We think alike.

  4. adorable and how handsome of a young fine man he really is...huh???? its like ....i can only begin to imagine how hard this is goign to is for sure he is such a handsome man.....good and him will be just fine.